Friday, April 17, 2009

    Please note the above Typical Blog Photo. It embraces all features necessary: the mug of tea, which was actually coffee because I had a headache, and which was empty instead of "steaming" (the requisite) because who's going to take pictures with a headache? Also, there are flowers. Flowers are a must in a blog photo. This photo also contains an image of a Studious Child. At least, we can imagine that she is studious. Could be she was actually daydreaming. Maybe she was even bored. Possibly she was waiting for a baboon to relinquish hold of the math book. Who knows.

    And all I have to say is, Biz done steered me wrong. The Artsy Photo having been taken, I could not post it per her instructions for the main and simple reason that the computer claimed that I was "not authorized". Tammy had to come to my rescue a couple of times, and finally managed by some cut-and-paste magic to place the artsy photo above my blog. It was especially kind of her to come to my rescue, because she is right in the middle of making banana bread. The whole wheat kind, in case anyone's interested, which I don't suppose anyone is. And this would be one of the Troubles in the world: nobody is interested in banana bread any more. She is also listening to Enya, played fairly loudly over decent speakers. Rather than allowing depression to creep in, I shall pray for good ol' Nomas and good ol' Chuck.

    Yon chilluns are merrily chopping down trees for the purpose of constructing a raft. They were freshly inspired by viewing a very well done documentary of Lewis and Clark, which we watched this afternoon. This documentary had young men who looked like young men, holding GUNS, even, and didn't meander into any revisionist claptrap. I liked it. 

Tuesday, the 7th on April, 2009

    Biz has a blog. She said I could have a blog, too. The first thing one needs in order to have a blog is a good picture of one's self, to post above the blog. Already I am hosed. I have no picture I am willing to put up here.

    The thing is, blog pictures should be artsy. I have seen a few blogs. Always, if there is a picture of the blogger, the blogger seems to have been at his best on the day of the photographer's visit. Oh, I don't mean to imply that blog pictures are usually POSED. I would never imply that! Certainly, the blogger was sitting about in his usual manner, spilling witticisms and profound insights into cyberspace for all to see, when there came a knock at the door. Within seconds, the blogger was captured forever on the new fangled electronic version of celluloid. His every hair was in place, his immediate surroundings were clean, he had a cheerful (or deep-thinking) aspect to his face. He looked at the photo produced by the unexpected intrusion and pronounced it good. "This", the blogger said, "represents Me. This is Myself, and I shall share this image with the world." 

    There are many other blogs which feature an artistic shot of a rose, or of a teacup. Teacups are in great vogue among bloggers. Sometimes, there are shots of rainbows over misty meadows. We are to presume from these pictures, I suppose, that the blogger either has a green thumb, or has such a handle on organization that he has a superfluity of free time which he can spend sipping tea, or he has a large and well-kept farm whereupon the happy clouds never gather to storm, but only to create beautiful backdrops.

    All I can say is, nuts to that. No photo of myself would capture the myth of what I wish to present. An unexpected photographer would get naught but a biff on his nose for his troubles. Anyway, at the moment I could neither look profound nor perky. I could probably work up annoyed, but who wants to post a picture of himself looking annoyed? Further, my teacup is empty, and the sun has set upon my unmowed lawns.

    Having got successfully past the blog picture, (which Biz assures me can wait til some future date), I now get to the Heart of the blog. I have read a few blogs. I know how they go. What I am supposed to write is something along the lines of, "A blog devoted to happy housewives everywhere! This blog will be full of Useful Hints and the Joys of the day! So --" (and here comes the bit that is, from what I can tell, mandatory in all blogs written by women) " -- grab your cup of steaming coffee, put your feet up, and enjoy!"

    It is my assumption that many blogging women, or at least many blog-reading women, probably suffer from caffeine fits. Possibly also from circulation problems induced by having their feet raised for great lengths of time, and I wouldn't be at all surprised if they incurred many headaches from staring at computer screens for hours at a time.

    Right. So what goes into a blog? The sight of this computer screen invites my response: "Beats me!" Biz says to write just like my journal. Oh, don't you WISH! You can just forget THAT idea right now! Besides, I don't keep a journal.

    One of the blogs I actually enjoy visiting every so often is one called "Exiled Preacher". (I think. I only actually check it out every few months, and it usually takes a while to find it.) That blogger says to write a list of ten somethings when you can't think of anything to say. He also posts a lot of articles of a theological nature. Nowhere on his blog am I enjoined to "grab a cup of coffee", which is, I think, one reason I appreciate reading what he has to say. I shall follow his advice as to lists of ten today, though, simply to get the ball rolling.

    TEN THINGS I THOUGHT ABOUT TODAY

1. It is a pretty swell thing to discover that Psalm 45 can be sung to the tune of "Crown Him With Many Crowns".

2. I am Full of Guilt because I still haven't checked my email. I haven't checked it for a long while, maybe a couple of weeks. This means I probably owe letters.

3. Why did the library carefully time it so that the book on how to knit socks was due now, today, when I am not quite up to the bit where I am supposed to knit the heel?

4. How am I supposed to knit a heel without instructions?!?

5. I have absolutely no working definitions for Amillennial , Premillennial, or Postmillennial. This makes it difficult to discover precisely where Spurgeon, Luther, Calvin, and Matthew Henry stood on the matter.

6. Psalm 73 can be sung to the tune of the Navy Hymn.

7. I always loved the Navy Hymn!

8. The Navy Hymn, or even Psalm 73 sung to its tune, sounds really silly if you sing it while accompanying yourself with a ukulele.

9. Hal Lindsey et al seem to have started a bogus ball rolling...

10. I really oughta shear the sheep before Shyanne and Miriam and Ruth leave for California.

    There. Items have been posted. I have been reflecting upon it, and think I can come up with a blog-y photograph. Maybe Biz can help me post it later.